Yes we can!

2014 was the year when 'Yes, we can' finally became 'No, I couldn't'. It is all over bar the shouting, and Mr Obama is reduced to bumping wedding couples off Hawaiian golf courses so that he can get on with one of the remaining functions of his office. In fairness, it isn't just the President…

Taking the mojo out of inversions

By now, everybody has heard of the aborted takeover of  British pharmaceutical firm AstraZeneca by US giant, Pfizer. The latest in a series of US corporate inversions, the new corporate structure was  to be headed by the smaller UK company, thus largely spiriting the merged group beyond the lascivious tentacles of the US Internal Revenue Service. Fascinated by…

Tracking tax avoidance

" U.S. Lawmakers Slam Caterpillar Over Tax Avoidance". That headline last month in one of our drab but professional  trade mags brought a sardonic smile to my face as I imagined a black-windowed Hummer careering around Capitol Hill jam-packed with Senators. At the vehicle's wheel was Carl Levin who suddenly screamed "Ya-hoo" ,or whatever 80-year-old  Americans from Michigan scream when…

Bits in pieces

"Look mum. No hands!" It is every parent's nightmare to be forced to watch helplessly as their 7 year-old, with the new-found independence of two wheels, goes careering fearlessly along the uneven pavement in front of the house.  Thanks to a guardian angel, the escapade normally ends with nothing more than a toppling skid or collision…

In Memoriam

Venturing downstairs at the crack of dawn every weekday morning, my first conscious daily act is to open the front door and hunt for the newspaper. Invariably within a five yard radius of the letter-box, it is pot luck if it is in pristine condition on the path, lying face-down in a puddle in the…

A dope makes a hash of things

Depressingly, whenever I mention British Humour (sic) to an American  I receive the stock response: "Benny Hill!" I used to fight back, arguing that Hill's humour was cheap smut eventually only permitted for export (to America), while true British Humour was a cerebral affair of the utmost sophistication. Balderdash!  I was kidding myself. Benny Hill was…

Dallas, Taxus

According to a study in the influential "British Medical Journal", if you are looking for a safe profession (leaving aside Accountant or Lawyer), you would be better advised to plump for Bomb Disposal Expert or Formula 1 Racing Driver than Soap Opera Star. The BMJ informs us that characters in these B-TV sagas have three times the…

Tax that must not be named

Standing in the Great Hall of Hogwarts one day this summer in the company of my youngest son and half of the picture-popping population of Japan, I was the only muggle who, when asked by the Warner Brothers Studio Guide which House I would want the Sorting Hat to direct me to, did not reply Gryffindor. To my…

What’s in a name?

The first poem I studied in secondary school began: "The pig lay on a barrow dead, motionless". Poet Laureate Ted Hughes' ensuing nine sickeningly graphic, non-rhyming stanzas made me want to vomit and scuppered any chance that Wordsworth, Byron or Shelley might offer the  key to my romantic soul. It was not surprising, therefore, that the death of Nobel Laureate Seamus Heaney a…

Till IRS Do Us Part

My first coherent memory is of an event  50 years ago this month when Ronnie Biggs and his South London mates pulled off the Great Train Robbery - a straight, plain vanilla crime involving stopping a mail train (hence the title), coshing the poor driver and making off with the booty (two and a half…